8:50 am

With my international passport set to expire in less than 6 months, there was an urgent need for me to renew it in order to carry on seeing the world. As with most things around here, that can be unnecessarily complicated. To supposedly make the process easy – and easy being same day issuance, I opted to take a trip to Abeokuta and get it done there cos processing in Lagos can be a nightmare not to be tried if you need your document at short notice.

On getting to the Immigration office, an officer at the gate asked if I was meeting anyone in particular. I wasn’t, and he let me know what was available – 64 page booklets valid for 5 years at the cost at N50k. In order to hopefully get a better offer, I dug up the number of my sister’s old contact person and opted to process it through him instead, only to find out a little too late that my bill was 10% above pump price. When my attempt at haggling didn’t work, I took my L in peace.

If you’re shocked that passport renewal fees can be negotiated, you clearly are not Nigerian enough.

Two hours into my wait, my plug comes to ask if I’m ‘mobile’ – if I had driven there, in local parlance. Before I was done wondering why he will want to borrow my car, he returned to summon us – I and 2 others, into an office to break the news that cos they had insufficient booklets, we’d have to go to Sagamu for our data to be captured, and then return to Abeokuta for issuance. The only other time I had been to Sagamu was that interesting owambe trip a few years ago, and it appeared the fates decided another was due.

After informing my family of the development and sharing the officer’s number, here I am with a stranger’s little kid sleeping on my arm as we embark on this totally unplanned road trip.

Hello Sagamu!

So we made it there in good time, and started the next round of waiting. While sitting around, I learnt from a lady I sat beside that processing costs 45k there. Now the interesting part is she got the information from a companion to whom she gave money to make the payment. However, I saw the same companion update someone else that the cost was 35k.

There are clearly way too many Ls to go around today!

Sidenote:

At the start of the first leg of the trip, the officer asked anyone to lead a prayer and because I definitely needed God’s protection on this k-legged trip, I gladly did. I must have been good at it as our way back he specifically asked me to pray again. My point is if this 9 – 5 thing doesn’t quite do it for me, please I could also be a prayer warrior on hire. Spread the word at your places of worship and make your bookings now!

Yet Another Sidenote:

Just in case he has saved my number and can see my WhatsApp profile where I have a link to the website, I am not publishing this post until I collect my passport and leave the Immigration office, before they nab me for crimes yet unclear.

Final Update

6:23pm.

Passport received. He still tried to get extra money from me fa, as his reward for the Sagamu trip. I’m tired as hell, yet to have my first meal for the day, but e go better.

I love coffee. With its rich taste and delicious aroma, my day is not complete without it. Morning, midday, evening, night… no time is the wrong time for a cup.

And then a few days into Lent, I thought it might be nice to give it up. While this period is a good time to make sacrifices – fasts, abstinence and the like, this for me is more of a test of my willpower than a spiritual exercise.

The first few days were surprisingly easy. No coffee? No problem.

Then I started to notice the changes. I run on somewhere between 4 and 5 hours of sleep usually – stay up till 2 am, give or take an hour, and be up around 6. Jump out of bed, straight into the shower and out the door as quickly as I can, then get through my day with no problems, and do it all over again. Great stuff.

But what do I have now? I’m up by 5 or so – start the day by drinking water, then doing some exercise and having breakfast *gasps* and then sometime around 10pm, maybe earlier *double gasp* I’m off to sleep.

This sucks!

I loved my sleep deprivation. I love my caffeine kick. Who on earth needs 8 hours of sleep anyway? I wish I was kidding, but it feels like I’m sleeping my entire existence away!

(Is this what withdrawal symptoms feel like?)

I am looking forward to getting back in bed with my poison. Come Easter, come!

In the meantime, if you love a good cup too, I’d totally recommend Gorilla’s Coffee.

I have a pack to spare. Send me a message and I’d hook you up 🙂

Well, almost.

After a really laid back time at Kinigi, we headed on to catch a glimpse of Lake Kivu. Lake Kivu lies both in Rwanda and Congo, and I’m glad we didnt skip it like we wanted to. The view was everything, and even though there wasn’t enough time for a swim and a boat ride towards Congo, I now know to plan a return here.

After a spending a short while taking it all in, we headed for the actual border. If you’ve ever been at the hellish Nigeria-Benin land border, you’d be taken aback by how different this is.

We first walked into the complex, looking around to get permission before taking pictures or doing anything that may cause any problems. We were literally walking around and expecting to be harrassed. If this doesn’t sound like the after-effect of a bad relationship, I don’t know what does.

No one bothered us.

As with many other things on this trip, it evoked a mix of emotions. Some shame at how chaotic things are back home, awe at how the country has fixed up, pride and hope that things can be better… but I digress.

We headed on to Nyungwe, home to one of East Africa’s most diverse rain forest and a myriad of hiking trails, where we tucked in for the night. Options were the really fancy, 5- star, $900 a night Forest Lodge, or the no-frills $50 a night guest house. Feel free to guess which I settled for. Next time, Nyungwe. Next time…

After a restful albeit chilly night, and a hot breakfast, we were on our way. I had run out of motion sickness pills – I must point out that if you get bouts of this while travelling at all, on this route your medicine is a must. The beautiful views while driving in the hills comes with a little price to pay. Thankfully another tourist we had offered a ride had a stash and was generous enough to share. Day saved!

The Nyungwe National Park has a myriad of hiking trails on offer, and we opted for the canopy walkway. Briefing done, sticks in hand, we headed off. The trail is pretty easy – there was a little girl in our group who had no trouble with the hike, and all it took was a few hours.

If you have not attempted to dance Shaku Skaku above a rain forest, you cannot talk to me please.

New heights conquered – literally, new friends made, Nyungwe done, and we headed on to our next stop at Nyanza.

I’m back to regular programming now aka off the road and back home getting the year started; and with all that it has been a liiiittle more than a day since the last post, but I’m back with all the gist about Day 3 🙂

Hiking enthusiast or not, a visit to Kinigi which is home to the Volcanoes National Park is an absolute must. If you’re not braving the climb up one of the various peaks in the Virunga mountain range, it is enough to hang around in the fields and just soak in the views of Mounts Sabyinyo, Karisimbi, Muhabura, Gahinga and Bisoke.

The plan was to hike Mt Bisoke, an active volcano with a crater lake at its peak. Taking about four hours to ascend – and about the same to get back down with temperature at the top between 6 and 9 degrees, it is said to have a stunning view that is totally worth the trouble. However, because you conquer obstacles in your mind before you hold victory in your hands, and our heads were not just there at that time, Mt Bisoke will have to miss me until I’m back in drier season.

The day was spent leisurely exploring the neighbourhood, chatting with locals, and then we headed on to Musanze, a larger town a few minutes away, exploring the shops for any interesting buys, and having a delicious lunch of wings, fish strips, salad and lemon + ginger tea, before heading back to Kinigi to spend the afternoon on a guided tour of the village.

This very authentic experience had us walking through paths lined with rocks from volcanic eruptions from decades past, stopping to play with kids spinning tops in the street and learning about culture, lifestyle and even government policy from Joda, the very pleasant guide. We talked about all topics from free, compulsory education for all children in Rwanda, to merit-based university scholarships provided by the government, to relocation of homes to areas close to social amenities to ensure everyone has access, to agricultural policy executed by the villagers aimed at replenishing the land. While practicing some Kinyarwanda, it was really funny when Joda noted that we were getting people confused by looking somewhat different yet sounding the same  🙂

And when it was time for the highlight, a performance of Intore, the Dance of Warriors, it was impossible to not join in.

I may not have conquered Bisoke this time, but Kinigi definitely has a piece of me and I have a feeling I will be back 😉

After the New Year Countdown shenanigans, Tuesday got off to a slow start. Thankfully the driver who the host S had graciously helped hire for the next six days was scheduled to arrive by 11am, and we spent no less than two hours in the morning discussing Rwanda’s recovery and growth, Nigeria’s state, our countries’ prospects and our people, over breakfast of brown bread and homemade avocado spread. Have I said how amazing S is yet?! While the conversations made my heart heavy and left me personally challenged, I was still excited about the adventures ahead.

The plan was to head to Akagera on Tuesday, go on the Night Safari to see nocturnal animals, camp overnight and go on the Day Safari, hoping to see the Big Five. Water, drinks, snacks, insect repelllent, torches, warm clothing, blankets and a padded mat (bought after combing all of Kigali in search of sleeping bags with no luck) were loaded in the back of the jungle- ready 4×4, and off we went on the 2.5 hour trip from Kigali.

Fees settled and introductions to the guide done, while chilling at the reception before heading to the camping area to retire for the day as the night Safari was fully booked, a group returned with news of sighting a herd of elephants. We quickly set off to see them just in case we were not as lucky the following day. Smart move.

Excited about having seen the elephant, hippos, baboons, impalas, warthogs and a whole bunch of other animals, we called it a day and headed to the camping area which was overlooking a lake with a stunning view, and surrounded with an electric fence to keep us from becoming dinner. With the fence open at the camp entrance, the slight hint of danger made it all the more exciting.

Nothing prepared me for how cold the night was going to get! Jacket, thermals, socks and I was still freezing. I must have woken up to look for the warmest position I could curl into a hundred times. Each time I woke up it seemed like a new place was numb. Fam! I still don’t understand how I zipped myself straight-jacket-style to maximise my body heat, but I can’t forget the confusing discomfort that woke me from the awkward position. This was Type 2 fun that I’m ready to do all over again!

The campsite was overlooking a lake with a stunning view, and the sunrise in the morning is hard to describe. Nature is the most perfect artist!

Four hours and sightings of buffalos, girraffes, zebras, more hippopotamuses later, while listening to the Park Guide talk about his love for Tekno and Patoranking and how he stopped being a PSquare fan after the group split, it was time to depart. To the elusive lions and rhinoceros, see you later.

Next stop on the trip was Kinigi, home to the Volcanoes National Park where Mount Bisoke is located. Heading from Akagera, we made the 2.5hour trip back to Kigali, had lunch and the absolute best lemon and ginger tea ever made, and  continued 2.5 hours or so to a quaint little guest house at Kinigi. Dinner was a little unfamiliar to the Nigerian palate – but there are few things large doses of chilli oil won’t fix. After sleeping off in front of the fireplace at the lounge and then sauntering off to my room, Day 2 was done.

Yesterday evening seems like a blur.

I had skipped lunch, and so opted to make myself a lovely dinner. The kind of evening I was going to have was clear in my mind – a quiet one with me huddled on the couch, in my living room which I’d have made too cold, all by myself with no one to get in the way of my thoughts as I allow my mind wander after a delicious plate of seafood pasta and a glass of wine.

Cooking done, dinner had, everything was going according to plan and then it begun…

It started as a dull ache in my tummy, and before long I was in pain all the way to the soles of my feet. I hope I never find out how 10/10 pain is, but it sure felt like it. Lying in the floor with my feet elevated gave little relief. Before long I was puking out everything in my bowels, while intermittently ‘cleansing my colon’. I was going from having my face over a place it has no business being, to replacing my face with my bum, to lying on the bathroom floor and back again.

By the time this had gone on for a short while, I began to feel faint. I staggered to the front door and unlocked it so that if I passed out, help will have easy access to me lol.

Now here’s the interesting part. At some point, my body had enough and went to sleep. I don’t even recall when that happened. Have to say I’m surprised I woke up on my bed rather than the floor. This morning I feel as good as new, with the added bonus of feeling really light – no detox needed! My first thought when I woke up was “what exactly happened last night?”, and until I started to write this the details of how bad I felt were but a distant blur.

Often times we have pretty plans all laid out, like my quiet, introspective Friday night, and then fate goes “Just whollup!” Here’s wishing that painful patches, if any, in this journey called life are over so quickly that we look back and can barely remember if they really happened.

Here’s hoping we heal right away and are better off for the lessons that they teach. Or at least we get free detoxes.

🙂

1:10 am. Sunday night/ Monday morning.

I should be asleep, but thanks to my sleeping pattern – or lack thereof – I’m not.

A montage showing Lewis Hamilton’s F1 victory just jolted me into the realization that I hardly ever invest emotion into anything with an outcome I am unsure of. If I loved a football club or a MotoGP team for example, each match or race I watch is another chance to go through a spectrum of feelings with no guarantee that the end will leave me on a high or low. It’s almost like a little piece of life.

I have always thought my life is pretty exciting, but right now I kinda wonder what I’ve missed out on.

Being in control is great, but maybe it’s time…

Just maybe.

I dreamt DJ Khaled came to my house.

The dream was really vivid. At first I was about to leave a parking lot somewhere when a friend brought an elderly Herbert Wigwe to take a look at my car cos he was looking to buy a similar one.

My car is a Honda Civic 2007 model. 😐

After I did Herbert the favour of getting a closer look at the car he wanted – opened the doors so he could check out the interiors, opened the boot so he could have a look too-  he got into his large SUV and we all left. I got home, and shortly after DJ Khaled arrived. He came cos i was meant to interview him. Because i had been out, I hadn’t got the chance to arrange my house so I was dashing around getting the place in order while he was chilling in the living room, and at some point he went to ease himself in my scattered bathroom. It really was like a friend visiting. Afterwards I grabbed a little notepad, we chatted like friends and then headed to a venue of some sort. Turns out he was also performing at a show.

The show was in what looked like a church hall and the audience looked like an after-church crowd. He sat on a wooden desk towards the back of the hall. At some point, the organizers started to set up his corner with entertainment and  drinks and his desk began to look like a VIP section at a club. This they were meant to have done earlier, but were late because Nigerian time… He was uninterested and unimpressed. They had told him he was meant to perform with a robot, and the robot was yet to arrive. Being his friend, I kept checking to see if he was alright and he asked me to convey his displeasure to the organizers. He complained that rather then get the robot ready for his performance, there they were offering him alcohol and white powdery substances! He was really pissed off. I tried to placate him, and went to tell them what he said. The guy in charge of the robot seemed pretty laid back and not flustered at all in-spite of his guest’s dissatisfaction. He said the robot was working, but they had sent it to a workshop located opposite FUT Minna (an area called ‘Front of School’) to have it quickly checked, to be returned within an hour . When I told my friend Khaled, he let me know he was only going to wait a little longer, and then he was going to leave. He clearly was getting to the end of his rope. I continued to act as intermediary between my friend and the organizers who were set up in what looked like the lobby of a hotel. While trying to let them know that they needed to get their act together as DJ Khaled was on the verge of leaving, one who was sitting at their spot which looked like a hotel reception desk was trying to convince me to buy an MTN SIM card! I turned it down, then ignored him and continued to talk to the next guy about my friend’s annoyance. Moments later, two young women arrive carrying the slightly rusted robot which looked like a school project from a few years before. I chatted the ladies for a little bit, trying to find out if both of them made the robot, and then I woke up.

I think I need malaria medicine.